Mummy bhi na.....

Moms are a different species; they come from some other planet. Every mom on this earth probably speaks the same language, No! Don’t take that literally they might be speaking in different languages but all of them speak the same language of motherhood.

Their questions, queries, worries etc are of the same kind. A few days back I got my blood test done. I thought my Hemoglobin count was low, so without any further delay I must get it done. I didn’t tell her, I was going to get my blood test done. Else you all know "1050" odd questions they ask. I mean how would I know what in store for me right?

So I go home with the report that said Hemoglobin- 8.5

She has been behaving weird since then; she prayed for 5 extra minutes today, she let me sleep for half an hour more and I managed to get sufficiently late to work. She gave me dry fruits with milk this morning and gave me a boiled egg for breakfast, which I absolutely don’t need considering  the fact, I don’t fit in my old clothes (which again are not very old!!!!!) .

Mummy bhi na…..

The first Times.....

I remember the first day of my school. That was the first time I was going to be all by myself. I remember holding my father’s hand and walking inside the huge compound. I was scared; I didn’t want to be there. My dad always mocks me saying, “Your expressions were similar to someone who feels constipated.” I think that was one time in my life where I didn’t want to be educated. Eventually things fell in place. Today I am a double post graduate and take a lot of pride in saying this. But if, for the first time my dad wouldn’t have held my tiny hands with his stronger ones, I am not sure I would have even thought about writing this post.

So when I think about “the first times” in my life, I have mixed emotions. They make me smile and cry at the same time. I don’t remember what it felt like when I first started to talk, but I surely remember the first time I went on the stage to give a welcome speech. I was two and a half years old. I was supposed to welcome the parents in a school function. I was amazed to see so many people listening to me, all their attention made me feel on cloud #9. I was so excited, that after the speech I started clapping for my own self, self appreciation you see….

I really don’t remember what it felt to be loved for the first time. Come on! I was just a few hours old when my mom would have held me in her arms for the first time. But I surely remember what it felt like when for the first time, I fell in love. The feeling was beyond any word, any expressions. I felt safe, I felt important, I felt this is it; I wouldn’t need anyone apart from the person I love. Soon I realized it’s not all that simple and easy, because there are many conditions applied to it. That was the first time I experienced a heart break.

I really don’t know what it felt like when someone for whom I was important, lost me, but I know the feeling when I lost someone who was dear to me, so dear that my life revolved around that person. When I lose someone close to me, I go in a cocoon and I manage to stay there for a long time. When I am out of that cocoon I tend to be erratic. It’s a little difficult for me to accept and move on.

There were first times, when I cried, when I fell down, when I broke a bone, when I broke a heart , when I loved someone, when I lived for someone else, when I almost lost my life, when I fought with my loved ones, when I behaved like a rebel. But these were the first times when I realized I am alive and these were the first times when I wanted to live, to love, to be what I want to be. These were the first times……

10 paisa/min....

I went to buy vegetables with my mom the other day. I admit that I know the prices of the shares I buy and sell, but I seriously don’t know how much a kilogram of tomato costs. So I come back from the office on a Friday evening and my mom says we are on a shopping spree, who knew she is taking me to the “Sabji mandi”.  On our way we stopped at the nearest petrol pump. Nagpur is known to be the second costliest city in India after Bangalore (Don’t believe me! Google it, it usually has answers to everything except the questions asked by Santa and Banta.), the petrol prices have risen many folds. I remember I used to get a 100 bucks for a weeks petrol expense in 2001, when I first started to drive a two wheeler (2001, is the official year, I started driving a two wheeler way before that, hehehehe!!!!!)

I ask the attendant to refill the petrol tank of my car, I give him 1000 bucks, and I start complaining to my mom, “Samajh nahi ata, khaya kya aur bharaye kya??” My biggest mistake, never give “gyan” to moms. To this my mom replied, “Ab tu badi ho gayi hai, daal, aate ka bhav samajh le, tere liye he acha hoga….” At that point of time I thought why am I even sitting in that car? Anyway I managed to divert the topic and found an easy escape. (That ofcourse I am not going to blog!!!!!!!).

We reached the “sabji mandi” and my mom started to purchase the vegetables. I almost got a heart attack listening to the prices of it. Good lord! I felt guilty eating them twice a day (It’s a little over exaggerated statement, deal with it).Then my mom in her typical tone (which is really soft, yet assertive) said to the green grocer, “bhaiyya hamesha aapke paas se le jaate hai, bhav sahi lagao”. And I imagined my future, someday I shall also be doing this, and in an instance I recollected myself in disgust with an expression like no! I am never doing this, never.

We came back home with two bags filled with vegetables. I went into my room, to take a quick shower to get rid of the smell, of spinach, cauliflower, cabbage, radish etc…. and to my surprise! saw a 10 paisa coin lying on the floor. I smiled, I had seen that coin after ages, I never thought in the wildest of my imaginations that all of a sudden I would discover the 10 paisa coin in my room, the feeling was similar to what Columbus had felt when he discovered America.(Now don’t divert yourself to think how on this earth I know Columbus??). I thought what is it that I can get for 10 paisa these days? After a while I concluded I get my piece of mind at 10p/min, because that’s the calling chargers of “our” mobile service provider plan.

4th DIMENSION

It is an old saying, "Time and tide wait for none."


My question is who wants either of them to wait? Sarcasm? No, I don't think I am being sarcastic.I am just being rude and I am not sorry for this. I don't want the time to wait nor do I want the tides to remain still and silent.For if these stop or remain silent, this will be an indication that the world has come to an end. And I want to live, I want to live for I have dreams. Dream, Imagine, Courage, get your hands dirty. Make it happen!


I have dreams, but do I have sufficient "time" to fulfill these dreams? Time, the fourth dimension, We live in a world of three dimensions. Well, we only perceive three dimensions. We can hypothesize many more dimensions. But, they are difficult to imagine.Because of Einstein, we often call time the fourth dimension. Special relativity shows that time behaves surprisingly like the three spatial dimensions.


Coming back to dreams, I had the strangest dream last night. I was speaking to my soul.


Me: "I find it really difficult to live in this world"


Soul: "Why? You were born here. What is it? What is bothering you?" 


Me: "Hummm, you are talking to me?"


Soul: "Yes, who is present here apart from you and me?"


Me: "Oh yes! I am sorry I was just looking at my watch, its not showing the right time".


Soul:" And what is the right time?"


Me: "It should be quarter past 12."


Soul: "Here's where you Human Beings get all of it wrong."


There was silence for a couple of minutes and my soul spoke again.


Soul: "Ever thought of living out of the box? Throw away all your watches, priced possessions that you call, these are nothing but devils. Now close your eyes and imagine a world for yourself, where are there are no wall clocks, wrist watches or any other time related gadget."


I still had my eyes closed because I could see a place just like that,  my dreams were given wings to fly, my imagination germinated,  and the time, it never was. It was just the right time, the one I was searching for. 

FROM PUNE, WITH LOVE....

"Living with a heavy heart is difficult, we never realize its us who make things difficult for ourselves".

"June", the sixth month of the year is usually the month of rains, thunder showers at times, cool breeze. Most important, its the month that initiates life. The trees that had lost their leaves, again see some greenery on them. Its the month of rejuvenation. But this month didn't quite start well for me. The series of events were sad, rather shocking!! "I miss you so much, Jinu".

Like I said living with a heavy heart is difficult, and we make our lives difficult for us. So, I decided to take a break, and clean my mind. I decided to head to Pune, the only place, I knew I would find my peace of mind. Its 4 am June 14th, on my way to Pune airport. I was in the cab when I closed my eyes for a couple of minutes, just to recollect if I have carried all my belongings. To my surprise the pictures that started appearing were of the time I spent in Pune during the last three days. The time with my friends.

The moment I reached Pune I felt a sense of belonging to the place. I stayed there 5 years back. The roads are just the same, the buildings, shops etc. Just one difference everything is also written in Marathi these days!!!! Mini had come to pick me up from the airport. Her place is 32 kms from the Pune airport. So we had ample time to hit the conversation. We started our laughter riot then and there (the conversation is a censored one , those who wish to know please call me ;). sorry mini :P ). I had no Idea how the next few days are going to be like? I left it to my "host and dost", mini moo (That's what I fondly call her), to take care of me. It was only during these three days that I wished,"If only there were 48 hours in a day!!!!!!!".

KFC,shopping on FC Road, Hong Kong lane, MaskaMaria, Sia leela and not to forget GOOD LUCK CAFE.... were the main attractions of the three days I spent with my buddies. Above all, it was the endless conversation that I had with my philosopher,guide and (now) friend, Mini. The agitation, the restlessness, I know I have lost it all somewhere. I also made new friends. Pri, Debo, Maloo and Rajesh. Thank you so much.... I had a great time with you all.Mini I am not thanking you for your cooking, for taking care of me, for making me meet myself all over again. I owe you this lifetime.

In the midst of these thoughts,the cab driver spoke, "Madam Airport aa gaya." The flashes immediately went away, I smiled for I had realized I am taking back my world with me. I am taking back a lot of happiness, and this is how my three fantastic days were spent, with my loved ones. I only remember your smiling face Mini, thanks for that hug, it made me feel so loved. A big bear hug for you!!! I am really happy to be loved this way. And this time its, from Pune, with Love......