The Wait....

Its 4.31 pm in my part of the world, November 3, 2016. Even the word document gives me a prompt when I type the date. I am furiously moving my fingers on the key board of my laptop to write this piece down, I don’t know what it is going to be like when I am done writing it. The wait is sort of killing me (don’t take it in the literal sense).

What exactly is this wait? Is it a feeling, a sensation, a word or what? I have not exactly understood the restlessness behind it, but as I am writing about it I have certain restlessness in me. The anxiety of what is going to happen next is always that question that bothers me. Well I met someone a few months ago and little did I know like a teenager it was going to be love at first sight. We met at a coffee shop and at the perfect moment the person walked in.  When I say perfect moment, it was quite literally perfect, Frank Sinatra playing in the background, windy, there was a lot of noise around but the footsteps were quite audible (just to me ofcourse!!). Some of you stupid romantics will be feeling the awww…. Don’t worry go ahead I am your kind too, coz I had butterflies in my stomach and stars in my eyes when I saw the person for the first time, perfect moment!!

I was dumb struck, not knowing what to say, it happens very rarely in my life that my heart overpowers my mind and as they say heart is silly, it sometimes skips a beat. Mine started thumping, stomping the body probably. We sat down and I even knew what drink I had to order, that’s how much I knew of the person. We instantly connected, the conversation was amazing, funny, intense deep all at the same time, before I could gather myself we ended up kissing (clichéd probably, but that’s the truth) and then I couldn’t take my eyes off the tattoo on the shoulder, reminded me of the chainsmoker song. Such is the foolishness of falling in love, unrealistic. Fantasy and fairy tales are written for a reason, well obviously it didn’t work out, our paths don’t cross, we don’t meet and we don’t talk, but I have this strange feeling and that tells me to wait…. Aah!! That stupid feeling again, wait! Did I answer my own question?

Wait- stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or event, that’s how you would define the feeling, in action. All I want to say is I am waiting and I will, because this feeling is something that is healing me, this wait makes me love you more than I could ever imagine. The wait is the reason I can still smile amidst all the things that are happening around me. This wait gives me a reason to love you more, today and forever.

Time and Place

It’s been a long time since I wrote last. My blog practically is dead and today I have decided to revive it, bring it back from the grave, and bring it to life! I was running out of reasons, not to write but I guess every reason is exhausted and I can feel the flow of alphabets transform to words, to sentences, to paragraphs ,to story and so on…..

This year has been quite an eventful one. And it flew by, even before I could understand where I spent all my time. As humans we want to anticipate the future, know what’s in store for us, be ahead and know everything before anyone else does. But little do we know, everything has its place and time. And I mean it literally. It only feels like yesterday that I took that flight to New Zealand, the excitement, the butterflies of flying to a country I always wanted to come to and be a part of. I didn’t know anyone here, I had no friends, and everyone was equally a stranger to me. I had no clue how is it going to be here. And here I am, successfully surviving nine months in this country, making friends, knowing people and loving every part of my being here.

Some places have this pull about them, you are attracted not only by the beauty of it but also by destiny, yes you read that right! I am exactly where I should be at this moment, doing what I am supposed to do. So my place and time was already fixed even before I knew it, what’s the point anticipating it then? But we do, like always and will keep doing this because we are humans we are curious to know, what’s next? But we can hardly fathom. Standing on the bus stop I always think how’s my day gonna be like, I sometimes feel like superman who can save the world and most of the days I feel like me. 

I don’t know what I want to reach for, for it’s difficult to clear the fog and drive past it, everything takes its time even the day gives way to the night, even the sun must set for the moon to rise. The beauty of things is in its existence, its presence and not in anticipation. Whether you love someone and haven’t told them about it, you like the smile but haven’t mentioned it yet, just go say it before you run out of time. I know everything has its place and time, but now is the good time!!

Road Repair in progress,go slow

Oh these summers in Nagpur, makes me so irritable. The temperatures here sores to 48 degrees Celsius. Coolers don’t help, thirst is not quenched merely by drinking water and I don’t feel like moving out during the day. Amidst all this if you are suffering from tooth ache, it is the worst punishment, just like the old ch***se way, to be hung by the thumb. Slowly the entire body weight is managed by that little thumb and the person dies in agony and pain. Tooth ache is very similar to that.

They say an adult has 32 teeth. I have 30 at this moment and the other two are fighting to erupt. God knows why they are wisdom tooth, when by the time they arrive people are totally at loss of wisdom “pun intended”!! So continuing with my ordeal, this Sunday I was sitting in one corner of my room and cursing my fate. Why, why on this holy earth do I need another pair of teeth, when I can manage pretty well with the existing 30? Cutting, tearing, grinding all of it, at times biting too, you know what I mean (sheepish smile). Nobody answered my question, not even the almighty. 

As the day grew longer and never ending so was the pain, long and never ending just like the female ursa. I desperately needed to see the dentist. No tooth pain is cured without visiting a dentist. So I chose to do it the tough way, the doctor’s way. As it was a Sunday no doctor was available so I had to wait for another day to get rid of the pain. That night as I slept I saw this handsome guy, very smartly dressed. His hair was done neatly and he looked so pleasant, I walked with him inside the glass door, he made me comfortable and we started to chat. Suddenly!! The handsome man turned into a giant monster with a mirror and a drilling machine, my mouth wide open and the position was one or two or three in life that lack dignity. Yes you guessed that right I was sitting on a dentist’s chair. My mouth being worked on like cross sections of road. Oh what a terrible sight that was. I woke up with a start to see if there was any concrete in my mouth. Luckily that was just a dream.

I narrated the dream to my mother and she listened like three year old. I was being dramatic with her while narrating it, she got so petrified, and she cancelled her appointment with the dentist (I can take up the profession of a story teller). Anyway, if you are thinking I am still suffering from the pain, then let me give you a good news, finally, like finally I become the wisest in the family with 32 teeth in my mouth and also I am the youngest to have them all (Tada!!)

So if you think it’s going to hurt just a little bit, think twice, because if the apple keeps the doctor away, dreams keep dentist’s bill away!! (wink wink)

Maa Suno To!!

Ever imagined a day without your mom?? Nightmare!! that’s all I can say. I was reading newspaper one fine morning. My mom walks into my room, picked up my clothes for laundry took the empty tea mug and moved my slippers away from the puja room. All in one go. I was sitting on my chair witnessing the sequence of the events. And it struck me what if I have to pass a day without my maa… And I imagined and the cloud became bigger and bigger and bigger.

Well I did imagine a day without my maa… I was reading newspaper one fine morning. Nobody did my laundry that day, as a result of which my clothes are lying somewhere or the other. There is a mountain of clothes under which I am suffocating in some corner of my room, let alone the newspaper I can’t even move to sip tea from my favorite mug. I get super irritated and finally manage to come out of that heap. I am running for some oxygen, suddenly I brake because I see some more stuff lying on the floor they are my camera lenses,on the floor. I pick them up and try to find a place to put them but I am more than shocked that even in a 2 BHK I can’t find some decent space for my belonging!!

I have a favorite tee…. It’s pink in color. I am searching for that tee and can’t find it anywhere. I am so sad and disappointed. I feel like reading and I can’t find my book that I kept near my bedside last night. I feel so lost so confused. The house looks strange, the things not arranged, in mess. In all that confusion the house helper arrives. “Didi mummy ko pucho kitni roti banana hai??” and I am super surprised, she also makes rotis at my place??  I never knew that!! A minute later the same question pops up and I say, “6 bana do.” And she again says, “lekin aapki mummy to 7 bolti hai hamesha.” To which I reply, “ha to bana do na.” Again she asks, “Aur Parathe kitne??” And I wonder who eats Parathas at my place!! Confused I tell her, “Bana do apne hisab se.”

The door bell rings…. There is a tall man standing as I open the door, “Kapde de rahe kya??” I realize he is our iron man. “Ha ruko lekar ati hu….. 32 kapde hai , kab tak laa doge.” And he replies, “kal subah main la dunga.” And I wonder what would take him so long, I mean its only 32 right!!

And before the cloud could get any bigger it burst, I realized I was just day dreaming. I looked around and I found my maa doing what she is best at, managing us, her home and above all our lives. I called out to her, “ Maa suno to.” She replied, “Bol jaldi time nahi hai.” I said, “Maa you are my hero!!” My maa, turned around smiled and said, “Ja ek baar sabzi dekh le nahi to jal jayegi…..”

Pooja Cornelius Photography

"You take this turn, and then take the straight road....
You will find me there.
And if you don't! you took the wrong road"

Pooja Cornelius Photography

Nobody is wrong
It's just the perspective

Pooja Cornelius Photography

"And I ended up loving the wall...."

 People said, "it won't love you back, its just a wall....."

 I said, "it will support and also love back...."

 You are the wall, the strength of my life